Defeated

We had our first trying day as parents yesterday.  Defeated is the word to best describe the way I felt.  I can't really speak for Mark but I would imagine that that is the word he might use too.

I think the number one reason the day was so hard was because we were all three too tired.  On top of that I think Beau has been having some belly aches, and the belly aches have turned him into a screaming baby.  I'm not sure if the belly aches were stemming from the fact that he may be lactose intolerant or maybe even whey intolerant but everything we fed him, including breast milk was upsetting his poor little tummy.  He went into major fit mode yesterday after two different feedings, one formula the other breast milk   It could have been that he was sucking too much air with his bottles, or that he seems to be a bit constipated too. Whatever the case may be, we swapped him to soy formula yesterday afternoon and he has been the happier baby we brought home almost three weeks ago, although very sleepy after the long day.  Hopefully we've got him and his belly figured out.

While I'm no expert my best advice to any parent that has a child that throws a fit and you can't seem to figure it out....cry.  When your husband hugs you tight, just hug him back.  When the baby is finally asleep and he then suggests that you take a hot bath or shower to relax.......do it.  It helps!  A happy you equals a happy baby in my short experience.

Beau { A Birth Story }

WARNING: This is a long one...I wanted everything I could remember written down to look back on.

I've been meaning to sit down and write for a few days now, but let's face it, things have been busy around here.  Not busy with the normal things like laundry and other chores (I mean those things are still there too) but we've been busy with the new little life that blessed us two short weeks ago.

In order to tell the story I think I should start a few days before Beau's arrival, Thursday, April 25th.  I had my last scheduled doctor appointment this day. I went in feeling completely normal; for 39 weeks pregnant anyway.  I had the doctor check me for the first time. I didn't really expect much but to my surprise I was about 2 centimeters dilated and 50 percent effaced.  She left me with a typical, "it could be any day" goodbye and I was on my way.  Over the next few days I continued to feel relatively normal, although a tad uncomfortable with some back pain between my shoulder blades. I chalked the back ache up to bad posture due to my growing middle.

Mark and I spent the following weekend outside, him playing softball and me just hanging out at the field.  It was the first few days of summery weather that had hit our area for most of April so we were taking full advantage. I did my usual chalkboard post and played with my camera on Sunday.  I was able to snap this fun shot.

I'm glad I took this...I was going to push it off
but I guess something told me otherwise.

On Monday I went to work and still felt pretty good.  My back was still achy but I was still chalking it up to posture and just general end of pregnancy aches and pains.  I did, however; notice that my belly was hard for a lot of the day.  Looking back now I think that I was probably having contractions on Sunday and Monday they just weren't really painful and they were obviously in my back.  After work I went with Mark's mom for a pedicure...something I couldn't really do myself.  I relaxed and took advantage of the massage chair for my back.  When I got home I cooked some spicy pasta for dinner and Mark and I lounged around on the couch before bed. (if either the pedicure or the pasta helped induce labor I'll never know!!) I did noticed that my belly had really started to drop though.  I snapped this mirror pic and sent it to my mom for conformation.  In minutes she had called me back with a quick "yep, you've dropped."

OK....so it really could be any day. 

We went to bed and I figured the next day would be a normal Tuesday.  Well, little man had other plans.  At about three o'clock in the morning I woke up due to typical discomfort, the urge to pee, and that same pesky back ache between my shoulders.  I got up and moved around a little bit, peed, felt a little better and went back to bed. About half an hour later the back pain was back and from this point forward never really went away.  I still wasn't thinking contractions.  I thought about just getting up but I knew that would just make for a long day at work so I tried my hardest to just go back to sleep. I couldn't...my back just hurt at this point.  Around four or four-thirty that morning I dug my phone out and googled back labor.  I didn't really find anything I didn't already know.  I still didn't believe I was in labor.  Impossible.  At five I decided it was pointless to just lay there and just decided I would shower and go to work early.  I could always just finish the few things I needed to do and come home for a nap later.  WRONG!  By the time I got out of the shower and was trying to get ready for my day the back pain was sooo much worse and
I was starting to feel mild cramps in the front underneath my bump.  I wasn't comfortable in any position, sitting, standing, kneeling. Nothing helped. Not only that I couldn't stay out of the bathroom.  I felt so badly that I had to go at every second.  (Sorry, probably too much info.)  I moved slowly.  I got ready as best as I could with Mark sleeping soundly just around the corner.  At six thirty I could not take it anymore.  I finally woke Mark up and told him I was pretty sure I was in labor.  He asked me why I thought that... I simply told him "it hurts everywhere and I can't make it stop."  He told me later he knew it was time when I started flailing my hands and making faces.  He said he'd never seen me act like that.  I called the doctor, told them I thought I was in labor, they told me to come in when I could no longer tolerate the pain. They thought I was full of it.....I called my mom, she laughed and said "Honey, you can't be in labor, nobody delivers on there due date.  I laughed too and told her "Well, apparently I do." We were packed and on our way to the hospital within a half hour, Mark moved quickly that morning!

When we got to the hospital we checked in at the administration office and then they wheeled me up to the labor and delivery floor.  They put me in the triage room, told me to change, and leave a urine sample if I could.  My nurse asked if I had just called earlier that morning.  I told her I had and she made the comment that I was so calm on the phone. (This was brought up a few times during the day, this is how I know they thought I was crazy when I had called earlier that morning.) Soon after the nurse was checking to see how far along we were. To my incredible surprise I was fully effaced and 8 centimeter dilated.  My exact words when the nurse said those words out loud were "Holy Crap."  I did not expect that at all.  They then told Mark and me that they needed to get me to  another room right away.  Everything from here was very fast, I had my epidural in no time and was feeling better pretty quick.  The nurse and the doctor told us that our little guy could be here within an hour.  ONE HOUR!!! They broke my water in hopes that might help, and discovered there was meconium. Not necessarily bad but something to be aware of for sure. While I was at a ten centimeters and fully effaced in no time the doctor told me she wanted to try and have baby drop some more on his own rather than using my energy to push him there. That hour turned into, "before noon" and then "well, we are getting closer." I had to eventually have my epidural turned down because I wasn't pushing effectively and they gave me a tiny bit of pitocin to make my contractions stronger.  Within minutes I could feel a difference. This was at about one thirty in the afternoon, and also when the pushing really started.  I could feel so much pressure and it really felt better to be pushing than not. From here on it was mission get this baby out.  The doctor kept throwing the "c-section" word around and we wanted no part of this.  Mark looked at me firmly at one point and just sternly told me "Babe, you have to push harder, you can do this, you DO NOT want a c-section."  So I tried, I pushed as hard as I thought I could.  By three thirty I think both Mark and myself were losing hope.  Could I do it??  My nurse and the doctor kept telling me I was making progress so I just kept doing what I was doing.  At four the doctor was in the room to stay and they broke the bed down for delivery  All good signs.  The pressure I was feeling at this point was the worst. I needed it to stop.  Finally Mark could see his head, up to this point my pushing had been three pushes and a break but now there were no breaks.  It was take a breath and push again.  Finally I saw his head too, I remember saying to Mark, "Oh My God. Look Babe, there he is, there he is." Once he was that far he had a mind of his own and just wanted out.  The doctor had to actually hold him there because she wanted to make sure his nose and mouth were suctioned right away.  With the meconium it was important to make sure nothing got in his lungs.  When he was fully out Mark cut the cord and the nurses had to scoop him away to be suctioned more.  He cried within seconds.   While the nurses cleaned him up more, I told Mark to go and be with him, while the doctor finished up with me.  Soon, they placed that sweet little boy right on my chest and things have been different ever since.  It took thirteen and a half hours, three of them pushing, but finally he was here. We did it. At 4:25 Pm on April 30th, 2013, at 6 pounds, 10.3 ounces and 20.5 inches we were blessed with Beau Michael Brown.  Family finally got to come in and meet him too.  I was worn out and a little out of it at this point so from here everything is a bit of a blur. I will leave you with pictures to tell the rest of the story.

Meeting for the first time....

Before he was Beau, he was Charlie. 

Four bags of saline can really puff a girl up. 

Out of it. 

Getting acquainted. 

Getting settled....

One of my favorites!

Trying to get any sleep in the hospital is hard enough...

Going home....

Getting ready to head home...excited, sleepy, and a little bit terrified. 

We missed Beau completely.  This is two days later
and I was still so puffy. 

Our first family photo. 

Loaded for the first time. 

The surprise on our front steps.  Notice the snow, it was May 2nd. 

Kita loved him instantly. 

Checking things out.

What would have been my 40 week post if I had wrote it.
5 days in. 

Yep, on April 30, 2013, in a Spring Blizzard we welcomed the sweetest most handsome little boy to the world.  Even the pipes that broke while we were in the hospital and sprayed in the yard for who knows how long couldn't get us down.  It's a day we will never forget and one that changed our whole world. I have tons of credit to give to Mark, I for sure thought he would panic and he did the exact opposite!  I couldn't have done it without you Babe. Thank you for all the support! I'm sure I could go on and on but I will leave it at this and keep a few memories for just myself!!!